Since being back home, I've had to fight off the doubts and uncertainties of what the future holds. Facing down the demons is inevitable, and there's always something to take it from it when you come out on the other side.
At my low moments, I let the confusion take hold as I succumbed to it. Now, my feelings have shifted, taking a turn for the better, at least for the time being. I realized that I have the power to steer my life in the direction I choose. The only way forward is to take full responsibility of the opportunities that I create for myself.
I recently decided to try my hand at teaching English online with VIPKID. It was quite stressful taking the time to practice and prepare for the interview and the mock classes that are required to become an online ESL teacher. After the first rounds went smoothly, I was preparing for the second mock class (I would have been hired if it went well) when I had an important chat with my younger sister. I told her I was nervous about taking the leap to actually go through with it. She pointedly said, "Matt, do you really want to do this?" I thought for a moment and replied with a stern "No." And there it was. Why was I putting all this effort into something I didn't even want in the first place? It was liberating to answer that question honestly after being presented in such a direct way. Thanks little sis!
So, where does this leave me? Broke and jobless? Yeah, sort of. BUT, this really woke me up to what I know I want to do—what I HAVE to do—become a filmmaker/photographer. While I've put tons of hours and hours into honing my skills, I still wasn't giving it my everything
Since this epiphany, I decided I have to go ALL IN. Now is the time. Not next year or even next month. Today. I'm going to put all my effort into making this a reality. Maybe I'll fall flat on my face. Maybe I'll crush it. Either way, I have to take massive action. It's both empowering and terrifying.
And you know what? Things are actually starting to happen. I have a video gig lined up with a local startup in Boston. I'm paying a lot more attention to who I'm spending my time with. A friend of mine (Alex Iby) started a photography meetup every Wednesday in Boston. It has been incredible to spend time with fellow creators. Just being around these people has improved my photography by leaps and bounds in a few weeks. Also, I'm about to start doing portraits locally for seniors graduating high school.
I've also started to take my YouTube channel and my Instagram account a lot more seriously. I'm already starting to see results. A lot of doors have opened up for me in a short span of time. It's crazy what can happen when you commit to something and push yourself until you reach the next level.
Going down this path has brought me to places that I couldn't have predicted. It truly is astounding what is possible with a bit of focus, determination and of course—hard work. To all of you out there, boldly choosing to go your own way with all of your heart, THANK YOU for paving the way for others to do the same. You're fucking rockstars!
Below is my latest short film. It's less than 90 seconds, so please take a minute to check it out!